Picture by Kristina Tripkovic
We all experience loss and grief. It is a natural and normal response to losing a loved one or something significant in your life. It can also be a response to other life changes, such as a job loss, divorce, or health diagnosis. The grieving process can involve a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, and disbelief, and can also have physical symptoms, such as fatigue, insomnia, or loss of appetite.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve your loss and the process is unique to you. According to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross there are 5 stages of life:
- Denial: This is the first stage of grief, and is often a temporary defense mechanism. Denial involves refusing to believe that the loss has occurred, or believing that it has been a mistake.
- Anger: As reality sets in, people may feel intense anger about the loss. This anger can be directed towards oneself, others, or even the person or thing that was lost.
- Bargaining: In this stage, people may try to make deals with a higher power or themselves in an effort to undo the loss or make sense of it. This stage can involve a lot of “what if” thinking.
- Depression: This stage involves feeling deep sadness, regret, and despair about the loss. People may withdraw from others, lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, and struggle to find meaning in life.
- Acceptance: This is the final stage of grief, and involves accepting the reality of the loss and beginning to move forward with life. Acceptance does not mean that the pain of the loss goes away completely, but rather that it becomes more manageable.
David Kessler, an expert about grief who co-wrote books with Dr. Kübler-Ross, added a 6th stage of grief: finding meaning. This stage can involve asking questions such as “Why did this happen?” and “What can I learn from this experience?”.
Kessler believes that the 6th stage of grief is an important step in the healing process, as it allows individuals to find a sense of purpose and make meaning out of their loss. It can also help individuals find a new way of living and honor the memory of the person or thing they have lost.
Not everyone will experience the 6th stage of grief, and the stages of grief are not linear or predictable. Each person’s experience of grief is unique and individualized, and the grieving process will look differently for everyone.
We will sit with you throughout the grieving process and as you’re ready, help you navigate moving through and forward. If you are struggling with grief and loss and finding it difficult to manage your emotions, we invite you to reach out for support, one of our therapists can help.
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